I've learnt that it's hard to make everyone happy with who you are.
And so, the only person who's worth the effort is yourself. In anything you do, make yourself happy FIRST. And then think about the others who voluntarily takes the time to make you feel happy too.
The others, well, whatever they say is just that - says. Words. Criticism. Take it with a pinch of salt. Those people don't know you and they don't share your pain.
Conclusion: top priority is yourself. Enough said.
I bought a few early birthday presents for myself - makeup from Sephora. They have some birthday promotions where you get double points for a one-time purchase. So I got like, quite a lot of stuffs. Benefit foundation because the Clinique BB cream I'm using is nearly finished (I think, or maybe because I just want a foundation), Benefit face primer, a new Zoeva liquid lipstick (cos I can't get enough of that), Moonshot Dark Spot Concealer, a Beautyblender and... yeah I think that's it. Then I got a few samples like Rihanna's foundation and a Tarte lipstick.
I haven't used the Benefit foundation yet, but I'm using Rihanna's foundation and I am LOVING IT. The colour's nice and the texture's comfortable. I use it with my usual two primers (Benefit Matte Rescue green gel and the liquid-to-powder face primer), then the concealer. The Beautyblender is also doing a good job. I noticed that I take shorter time to blend my foundation (beautifully) and the Beautyblender kind of thins out the product a little bit, which makes makeup really comfortable on the skin.
What else... Oh yeah that's about it on the makeup. And then I bought the book Penpal on Amazon which is written by Dathan Auerbach for Creepypasta. I love that story. It's nice, it's sad, creepy at the same time and warm for the friendship. Can't wait to receive it and then read the full story. Heard that it's more or less the same, but more detailed.
Yesterday was my birthday and I felt better than I did last year. I felt content. Like it doesn't matter anymore and what I have is enough. I like that feeling. It's nice.
I've also applied for something else, but that's a story for another day.